Pretentious? Moi?

“So you’re a connoisseur of craft beer?  That’s very interesting.  I consider myself a connoisseur of pretentious jag offs and I find you fascinating.”    Five minutes later my wife stopped laughing.  Wiping the tears from her cheeks, patted me on the back and said, “Yeah honey.  They kinda of just nailed you.”

The source of her mirth and my shame was a clip from Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog, and his trip to the GABF.  While it takes a lot of shots at the beverage that I love, this definitely off color and NSFW video is still unbelievably funny.   To see for yourself click here.

triumph_insult_comic_dogThe real question is does Triumph have a point?  Have we taken our devotion to craft beer a little too seriously?  Consider his joke from later in the video.

“A connoisseur of craft beer walks into a bar and says to the bartender, ‘I’d like your finest pumpkin ale but make sure it’s not too hoppy.’ So the bartender takes a baseball bat and beats him senseless while everyone cheers.”

I suspect my wife, who really does like beer and is usually willing to at least try any new beer I offer her, might just be front and center in the cheering section.  For years she has rolled her eyes and usually bitten her tongue as I have held a glass up to the light and then inhaled deeply.  She has winced as when used adjectives like “grassy” or “catty” to describe beer.  It’s not that her palate can’t detect the same things.  It’s just that she feels it is unnecessary and yes, even pretentious to exclaim it for all to hear.

I think she fears I am turning into Miles from the movie Sideways who when analyzing asideways1 wine uttered, “A little citrus. Maybe some strawberry. Mmm. Passion fruit, mmm, and, oh, there’s just like the faintest soupçon of like, uh, asparagus, and, there’s a, just a flutter of, like a, like a nutty Edam cheese.”

OK.  So just for the record I have never mentioned Edam when analyzing a beer.  But the point is still valid.  But more importantly, has the true appreciation of something as blue collar as beer gotten lost in our never ending pursuit of refining our ability to enjoy a beverage that is becoming ever more the true and worthy competitor of wine?  Have we lost the ability to just drink a cold one and say “Aaaaah  That was good” without the need for further elaboration?

I certainly hope not.  Nevertheless could it be that my devotion to craft beer has made me pretentious?  Yeah, I might resemble that remark.  But if my wife can live with it, so can I.


One thought on “Pretentious? Moi?

  1. Been feeling that way too lately…
    I have been shooting league pool around South Jersey and the night comes with a complimentary beverage. This scenario has played out at 4 different bars so far:

    Me: I’d like a beer, what do you have that’s not a pale lager
    Bartender: Oh, we have everything, what’dya want?
    me: Something bitter?
    BT: Nope.
    Me: Something dark?
    BT: Nope.
    Me: Something seasonal?
    BT: Nope.
    Me: Do you have any Ale at all.
    BT: …… (blank stare)
    Me: Whiskey, please.

    I DID get a Guinness once. It was so cold there were slushies in it and when I asked for a glass to let it warm up, I was given a “frosty cold pint” from the freezer. #facepalm.

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